How to get rid of juvenile eastern lubber grasshoppers

Yuck! I went outside this morning and saw these gross juvenile eastern lubber grasshoppers all over my nice new lavender plant. lubber-03OMG, these things totally give me the heebie jeebies.
lubber-04But, I was determined to get rid of them. It’s pretty easy, once you get past the heebie jeebie part.

First, you’ll need a bucket of soapy water. And if you’re squeamish like me, you’ll also need some gloves. lubber-01Second, grab the little, jumping suckers and throw them in the bucket of soapy water. Grab as many as you can, because they’ll jump away and you’ll have to search for them. lubber-06That’s it. Pretty simple, right?

I screamed “EW” every time I grabbed a handful. I jumped and waved my arms after each pass. I’m pretty sure I heard my neighbors laughing at me.  lubber-05The juvenile lubbers like to come out early, so make sure you check your plants first thing in the morning. It might take a few days to get them all, so keep checking.

A little tip… kids will happily take care of it for you. Only a nickle a hopper.

Tick

ticktick. tick. tick. tick. tick.

I really hate clocks.

I was hypnotized when I was a teenager. I was desperate to remember the fuzzy details of a fatal accident I was in. There were gaps in my memory. And being a control freak, I needed to remember the horror. I thought that it would help alleviate my newfound fear of driving. Well, actually my newfound fear of dying while driving. I had seen death work his magic right before my eyes and I didn’t want to be his next client.

So my therapist thought that hypnotherapy would be helpful.

It wasn’t.

All it did was take me on an flying carpet adventure along a peaceful creek with a beautiful, white bird flying alongside me, over my left shoulder. Then my peaceful ride was interrupted by an annoying tick, tick, ticking. I awoke extremely agitated and went to find the tick-tock.

I went out of the room I was in, down the hall, around the corner, into another room that had a smaller room inside. The tick, tick was in that smaller room.

How or why I could hear it, I had no idea. The therapist couldn’t tell me either. Now I’m stuck with this aversion to ticking sounds.

I really, really hate clocks.